


The Bean Fiasco

by squidgirlfriends



Category: Splatoon
Genre: F/F, Post-Octo Expansion DLC, Shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 07:56:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16512332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squidgirlfriends/pseuds/squidgirlfriends
Summary: Agents Four and Eight are about to be roomies, so Off The Hook takes them shopping for important apartment stuff.





	The Bean Fiasco

**Author's Note:**

> this is really gay

 

“We lost them.”

“What do you mean, we _lost_ them?”

“Ah, I don’t know where they are.” Pearl scratched the back of her neck sheepishly.

Marina dropped the paper towels into their shopping cart, putting her hands on her hips.

“I left for two minutes!”

Pearl smiled warily. “Hey, they’re... just kids! What was I supposed to do...”

Marina pulled out her phone, opening up the voice-recorder app. She tapped play on the most recent recording.

“ _I’ll_ _protect_ _them_ _with_ _my_ _life_ , _no_ _sweat_!”

“Hey!” Pearl retorted, cheeks turning pink at the sound of her own voice. “You can’t hold that against me!”

“Oh, it’s too late for that, hot stuff. No sweat? Eight and Four are currently free-roaming in the supermarket. Think about that.”

Pearl’s gaze drifted to the side, the phantom sounds of various explosions, glass breaking, and bad commercial jingles playing over a megaphone echoing in the recesses of her consciousness. Her eyes widened. “Oh... oh no.”

“Exactly,” Marina started rolling the cart out of the aisle. “Now lets go g—“

A huge crash cut Marina off, followed by what sounded like a million cans crashing, glass breaking, and the distant sounds of civilizations collapsing.

Pearl and Marina both looked up at the speakers on the ceiling.

“ _Cleanup_ _on_ _aisle_ _ten_ ,” a nasally voice spoke over the PA system. Marina and Pearl shared a look, both saluting solemnly.

“To aisle ten?” Pearl asked.

“To aisle ten.” Marina nodded gravely.

  
“I didn’t do it!” Four put her hands up, quickly kicking aside an exploded can of soup. Marina turned to Eight.

“We... we both did it...” Eight relented, igniting Four’s glare.

“Traitor,” she muttered.

“You wanted to steal the store’s entire supply of baked beans!” Eight exclaimed, and Pearl cackled.

“You don’t need to steal all those beans! I could totally get my dad to send you a year’s supply—“

“Pearl!” Marina lightly slapped Pearl’s arm. “We’re supposed to be _supervising_.” She looked to the agents. “Are you two alright?”

Four and Eight nodded.

“Okay,” Marina checked her list. “We’ve still got a ton of shopping to do, so... let’s get going, I guess.”

“But what about the mess?” Four asked, stepping over piles of cans.

“Eh, the store’ll take care of it,” Marina waved the mess off sheepishly. “Let’s just get going. We’ve gotta get both of you a ton more stuff.”

Just then, a store employee appeared, a flimsy mop and bucket in the poor inkling’s hands. She gaped at the mess, the mop slipping from her hand and clattering to the floor.

“Oh...” Marina muttered.

Pearl looked at the employee, then back at Marina.

“Oh no, you’re not being Miss Goody Two-Shoes today.” Pearl reached under Marina’s arms and started pushing the cart in the other direction.

“But look at all those beans she has to clean up!” Marina said, watching the mortified employee helplessly.

“It’s what she’s paid to do! Now let’s _go_ ,” Pearl kept shoving the cart. Marina followed begrudgingly.

  
“ _Where_ are Four and Eight?!”

“Relax!” Pearl put her hands up, “I said they could hang out around these couple aisles as long as they stay nearby— they’re right over there.” Pearl craned her neck, pointing into the next aisle over.

Sure enough, when Marina followed the direction of Pearl’s finger, the two agents were looking at various light fixtures and vanities in the next aisle over. She sighed, relenting.

“Fine. But you’re on thin ice, after the Bean Fiasco of forty minutes ago.” Marina smiled, looking back down at the list.

“Hm, I can live with that.” Pearl rested her chin on the handle of the cart.

Marina rarely wore her hair up; usually she let the tentacles move freely— they were a bit hard to tame, most of the time. Marina had assured Pearl many times that they wouldn’t pop off her head and grow mini-Marinas, that something like that would only happen if she cut her own tentacle and incubated it correctly. Even that day, up in a ponytail, they twisted and wriggled a little.

Pearl’s eyes fell half-shut, watching Marina absently as she spaced out. The nape of her neck looked soft. It was soft, Pearl remembered running the pads of her fingers gently up and down Marina’s back at night, her hands underneath Marina’s shirt, against her warm, smooth skin... she’s kissed the nape of Marina’s neck, she wants to kiss her again. Pearl felt her cheeks warm a little, and scowled. Why couldn’t they be _home_ already?

Marina watched her out of the corner of her eye. ( _She’s_ _frowning_ , _she_ _better_ _not_ _be_ _thinking_ _anything_ _dirty_.) As if in response, Pearl’s expression softened.

“ _You’re_ _pretty_ _when_ _you_ _think_ _I_ _can’t_ _tell_ _you’re_ _staring_ ,” Marina said, smiling.

“Huh?” Pearl stood abruptly.

“I said pull your head out of your ass, Houzuki, we’ve still got shopping to do.” Marina tugged on the edge of the cart. Pearl stumbled forward, smirking as she grabbed the cart’s handle, pushing it forward abruptly— Marina hopped forward a little before the cart could ram into her legs.

“Pearl!” She laughed.

“You gotta be quicker than that!” Pearl cackled, jolting the shopping cart in Marina’s direction at random intervals.

“ _Pearlie_!”

  
Four and Eight watched this unfold from a couple feet behind.

“They’re crazy.” Four elbowed Eight.

They watched Marina grab the other end of the cart, the series of attacks devolving into a tug-of-war.

Eight merely smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> on a scale of one to holy mother of lesbians how would you rate this piece of garbage???
> 
> (the one line of marina’s is in italics because she’s speaking octarian)
> 
> catch me on tumblr or instagram @ squidgirlfriends


End file.
